Imaginary People

My office wouldn’t be half as much fun if it wasn’t for the antics and presence of the wonderful Miss J. She is every gossiper’s dream come true. Feeling a bit low? Need some spice? A common discussion point? Well, bring her topic into a conversation and viola, the conversation immediately takes a turn towards hilarious! Basically, Miss J is a really bad comedy show on legs, which obviously is never a dull thing.

Imagine a stick. Add two watermelons where an ass should be and two big apples where, well, the bosom should be. That for you is Miss J physically. I don’t kid you. She is tall, slim, bushy haired, long-nosed but you wouldn’t notice that unless and until you are bored of being bombarded by her other assets. And for someone who is already so well endowed, she sure puts in a lot of effort to put it out there! The running joke in the office is that she is so inflexible (temperament wise ) because her clothes are so tight. And ghastly looking. Oh the image of her dressed in harlem pants, same colour tight t-shirt and a knitted vest-thing and coming to office like that on an effing weekday, still haunts me.

Miss J also holds the distinction of being one of the most unpleasant people you’ll ever come across. She is bitter, stubborn, jealous, hyper-competitive, territorial and superficial. She prances about town like she owns it and all of us are her subjects. She takes pride in her dressing sense, her organizational skills, her professional attitude et al. Of course the delicious irony isn’t lost on many.

Well, for an intro I suppose this should suffice. With innumerable anecdotes to her credit, rest assured, Miss J will be a recurring character in my mad world of imaginary people.